Half a year flew; from a graduate nurse to a full-fledged RN. I entered a realm where stress is inevitable, questioning my skills everyday and battling with my confidence. Well, I thought college was tough but work is hellish, overtime work with no overtime pay, getting to know co-workers who some, just can never be in my good books; making my mark; added with having people’s lives in my own hands. It’s a compiled stress to almost an unbearable degree. I need doses of Hershey stat. Even though I look calm, I’m seething inside. And I’ve learnt to take care of it with a bit of ranting.
But at least, as I speak, this stress has allow me to aptly juggle a patient on packed cell transfusion, and another external fixator dressing, doing up a simple traction for an ahma with that neck of femur fractured, a post total knee athroplasty uncle and at least a road traffic accident admission from that freaking A&E who keeps booking our beds. More than that, I’d work a 24hour shift. I used to have a life, but now I am a nurse.
There were days when I wanted to tear my hair out, when things just don’t seem right, and I’m merely having a stupid moment, like dialing the HO on-call when I want to get through to the X-ray dept. Haiyyya. But what other profession allows you to connect with people and develop relationship during the most trying time? And truly impact the life of a person? Though I have those nasty little non-nursey thoughts that sneak into my brain at the end of a shitty shift or that I wanted to strangle a patient who is getting on my last nerve, there is no other place I want to be than in the hospital.
List of rants:
1) I keep losing that perfect nurse-friendly fat pen with cushioned grip, multiple colors of black, blue, red, no smear, writes nicely at an angle, and a good highlighter for those charts.
2) My scrubs do not have enough pockets
3) I write everywhere, from the back of my hands, paper scraps to napkins, sometimes I vandalize the com table to calculate my med dosage regime.
4) I have to hold my bladder every shift for goodness sake; I have no time to pee. I won’t be surprise if I have to insert a Foley on myself.
5) I still can’t be that vein whisperer, missing that juicy vein is such a boo.
6) I hate it when patients ask questions when doctors aren’t around and when the doctors are there, they just shut that mouth.
7) I can’t help by giving a white lie that IM injections won’t hurt.
8) And one thing that I am most reluctant to say with a big smile, “I’m sorry to wake u up doctor”
I work crazy hours, my feet hurts, my job is hard, gross, dirty and dangerous at times but there is no better feeling than when someone said “I wouldn’t have pulled through this without you, thank you nurse”
And I love my patients; even the crazy ones who drives me cranky; the same way.
